A long year is about to come to a close. It was rather difficult, but I think much better days are ahead. At least I hope so. I'm not sure if my nation-wide appearance on the Jimmy Kimmel Live Show helped any, although it was good for some laughs.
I've met some new people, which is always a good thing, I think. I've also grown fonder of some new friends.
For the new year, I need to shift my focus I think. I've spent a lot of my life trying to do for others. It's time I concentrate more on me and mine. I want to finish my college degree or at the very least, get some certifications. I also want to get more organized, like my Brother-in-Law Bill. He's really got it together.
A dear friend of mine said I need to quit being so down on myself. This is also true. I'm a great person, a caring person, smart and witty. There's nothing I can't achieve if I set my mind to it.
OK, I've moved to a new place...started working at a new store...wondering about changes I want to make in my life for the upcoming year. What else do I need to be considering? I think it's time to relook Socializing 101. I need to get a circle of friends again. My older daughter has her boyfriend, and they go out with their friends, and that's a good thing. I'd like to be doing that kind of thing again...I mean, as far as going out with some friends.
When I worked at DOB Systems, we'd go to the Comets basketball games from time to time. That was just a ton of fun. Now that I've become a fan of the Astro's and the Texans, maybe I can round up a group that would like to see some games. Heck, I like hockey too...maybe take in an Aero's game.
Oh well. I will figure something out. I'm a bright girl.
I'm trying hard to get a new computer together. I finally got my IBM re-assembled here at the new apartment. I'm glad I don't have to share my daughter's computer. Once she goes to bed, I have to be off and out of her hair. I managed to locate my long cable...so I could run my PC in the living room.
Now comes the fun part of finding parts...and then putting the new computer all together. I don't have any doubts that I can do that, it's just having to acquire parts a piece at a time. The budget just doesn't quite allow for a mass purchase. However, I did follow through and got the motherboard and processor out of the way. With the video card that one of the Everquest gang sent me, I have a nice chunk here. Now I'm watching sales for RAM. I think I have a CD-ROM drive. I will need a new hard drive also. Soon...soon.
December is a nice month. Mom's birthday is next week. Also, it'll be my birthday too...and my Aunt Joan. She was born on the same day...the 23rd. I love my Aunt Joan. She has the most beautiful auburn hair and sings like an angel. I remember going there several Christmas times and singing carols.
It's also the month of the birth of the Christ. It's a time to celebrate hope for the world...and peace.
I got to watch Jimmy Kimmel Live too. Jay was on. They sent him to cover a body building event. It was pretty funny. I'm glad to see he's still having a good time. I wonder if he ever reminded the crew that we didn't really get to have a nice dinner on our date. Haha. Oh well...I did get treated to haute cuisine at Le Jack in Le Box.
...things work out OK. I was waiting for a reply from Bank of America on the overdraft fees. Amazingly enough, I never got a reply, but I did find that 60 dollars back in my account. Yay. I'm so glad I pointed out that I had changed my billing address.
I did a little work on my old IBM. I took out the old video card and noticed some kind of tarry substance on the back of it. Hmmm, that might have something to do why it quit out on me. Maybe it overheated because of having the "gunk". I managed to wipe it all off, and I will try re-installing it later tonight.
First, I noticed that Fry's has a 2.5ish GHz Intel P4 processor/motherboard combo on sale. That should be fast enough for now, and it won't cost too too much. Since I need to wander down to the law firm today, I will swing by there first. Who knows...maybe I'll have a new PC together before the end of the year.
I started looking into scholarships/grants that might be available for working moms who are contemplating going back to college. Do I really want to do this? I should, I know I should. I think I just need to enroll, and worry about the rest of it later.
Mike enjoyed the card that I sent to him. He was such a great sounding board in those last weeks I was with Ken. When I heard he'd had his heart crushed, well, I needed to cheer him up. That was the least I could do.
It's amazing the stuff that lingers on the internet. I found some of the old Everquest fan fiction that I had posted from my old role-playing days...those stories of the evil dark elf, Selilya, Winnower of the Violent Harvest. It was quite nice finding those treasures, especially since I misplaced the CD that I had them stored on. I've started the downloading process to capture them again.
I hollered at Russell about the stories. He had been re-reading them. He's going to look for any of the other collaborations we did and send them to me. Beverly emailed me back...she's stored a lot of the old Violent Harvest chronicles. It was great hearing from her. I think the only other person I need to hunt down is Nick. He wrote some really great things with Selilya in them...and some stories from Jezeran's early days.
Yes, I do need to get busy and make another CD with my writings. I found a lot of the poetry as well. I can certainly see my feelings from last year...how somber and dark I was feeling.
Ugh. At least it's not as bad as it was down in El Campo, which is southwest of Houston. They got something like 16 inches of rain. There's water everywhere down there. Since I was feeling so icky, I just stayed home, ate fruit, watched football and just thought...
It's amazing what rolls around in the brain...and what stays stored there until you least expect it to fall out of the synapse tree and plunk right down in the middle of your conscience. Maybe it was watching the movie "Matilda". She was such a sweetheart trying to be loved and understood by her family. I guess that's what everyone wants. I began to wonder if I was like Matilda's parents, just so self-consumed that my child(ren) needed to find a new life outside.
I still recall being begged by the Cochrane's to not divorce the girls' father, because breaking up a family was just the wrong thing to do. Of course, that was so long ago, and that cannot be undone. I've accepted the consequences, and even though I deeply regret that their father has totally dropped out of their lives, they are still very loved by Grandma and Grandpa. I know they'll never see any of the over 25,000 dollars that he owes for child support. Mom tells me to just forget it, but it is difficult, especially when they both should be able to get through college and look forward to the weddings of their dreams one day when they are ready.
That was followed by a session of what ifs. I hate "what if's". What if I been prettier? What if I had been smarter? What if I had been more popular like my sister? What if etc. Bleh. That is a sure way to get depressed.
I managed to get back in touch with one of my young friends from Everquest, who played a character named Sigyn. She calls me "mommy". She reminds me so much of Valerie. She's even now going through one of those phases that a lot of kids growing up go through. I'm glad we got back in touch.
Identity theft is another thing I was thinking about today, since I was a victim of it this week. I'm not sure how it happened, but someone charged something to my credit card, which caused my account to go negative, and I got hit with 60 dollars of overdraft fees. The bank said they won't give it back, because it wasn't a bank error. My only question...if I changed my billing address, then why did the bank give an approval for a transaction that used the WRONG billing information, since I had changed it? I'm seething over that one. I'm waiting for an answer. I can't wait to see what they say about that one.
And I shot off a follow up email to Jay to see how he's faring. He seems to be doing all right, according to his journal entries.
I'm sorry I won't be able to see my folks and younger daughter this year for Thanksgiving. They won't be able to afford to drive down, and Val and I won't get the time off to drive up. At least we'll have each other, and Valerie has passed the word that she'll be cooking. So maybe we'll have a few folks here to fellowship with. I hate the thought of anyone having to spend a day like Thanksgiving alone.
Well, I still have hopes that I can get my computer together one day. Although the missing 60 dollars just makes it seems further away, but I guess I'll just have to get over it. Nawww, I'll make it soon enough, and the computer will be awesome.
I think I should get back to writing. I used to write fan fiction for Everquest, and I wasn't all that bad. I have some poetry out there on one of those poetry websites, and I used to have a whole notebook full of it. I must stir up those creative juices again.
It's hard to enjoy a day off when you can't go anywhere. I had lunch with Valerie, barely making it early enough. I wanted to run by Computer Parts and Electronics to check out some options for the new box I have to put together. But just as I was about to head out again, it started pouring. Bleh!
Anyway, I'm sure I'll probably get an Asus motherboard with some faster Intel processor. I'm looking for a bundle, since I really don't want to have to assemble that mess. It's not that I don't think I can handle it, but I just want one less thing to mess with.
At least Valerie's computer works, and I'm not totally isolated from the online community. I would just like my own "station". That's not too much to ask.
I brought home Dennis's dead Dell. I might try to figure out why it's not booting. It's time the Law Office got another new machine, just in case. Although, I did get Tiffany's old clone working again. It's all configured...ready for the next user.
They want me to look at some other options for Virus protection. They might be interested in PC-Cillin. I downloaded the trial version. Guess I'll give it a workover and see what I think.
OK, rain....aren't you about done yet? I still wanna go out and play.
My father is absolutely the sweetest man. Yesterday was Veteran's Day, and I'm so very proud that he is a retired soldier. He served in the aftermath of Korea; he served in Vietnam; he was in Germany; and his last overseas tour was as the Command Sergeant Major of Turkey. He takes great care of my mother and my younger daughter.
He finally got "into" computers a few years ago. It was sometimes a challenge, but he weathered it all well. He's now gone through several computers...they do tend to malfunction from time to time, you know. Now I found out he has a Dell. *sigh* It's a nice one too. Comes with a 3.0 GHz processor, and lots of bells and whistles. I just turned green with envy when he told me about it.
Well, knowing that I'm in a bit of a pickle with my lovely ancient IBM 190 box (with its ultra fast *haha* 500 MHz AMD K2-600), I guess he felt sorry for me. I had a package waiting for me at the law firm where I do my PC support work. Inside was a box, a big box.
Dad sent me a computer case. It's an AXIO X5 Series with a 480 watt power supply with lots of fans. Wow, with a power supply that big, there's not going to be a lot I can't do with that box, if I can afford the guts. That's the cruelty, I suppose. Now, I get to piece a computer together. At the current rate I'm going, it might be Spring before I'm fully up and running.
I can see myself now, poring over the newspaper ads and internet sales websites.
Well, shopping can be fun.
Trying to enlarge one's circle of friends can often be challenging. I suppose it has something to do with the hesitation people naturally have to making themselves vulnerable. However, if people keep up a shell, they will miss out on some great opportunities for deep, rewarding friendships. I suppose the more one has been "hurt", then that contributes to keeping to oneself.
I've been hurt before. I think most of us have. Do I let that stop me from reaching out? It hasn't so far. Even if folks don't respond, well, there's not a lot I can do about it, or will do. All I can commit to is trying to reach out, and then I must be careful to see if anyone is reaching out to me.
Well, so much for today's rambling.
OK, the move is over. I'm now trying to settle in at the new place minus a lot of my old possessions. Heck, I am starting over, after all. It's going to be rebuilding time for a while now.
Part of that will, of course, be a new circle of friends. Hmm. I guess that means I have to reach out. I suppose I need to see what resources there are in the neighborhood, what organizations or groups I might be fit for, and what extra-curricular activities I should consider.
All work and no play make Jack a dull boy...and Mary an even duller girl. There's not too much wrong with being dull, but I'm wanting to break away from that. I had always been known as a potential "life of the party" in the past.
I guess I'll just keep my options open. I do have unpacking to do still. I want to organize the place a bit better. This time, I want a home, not just a place to eat and sleep. I'm glad my pictures and my antiques were still in storage, safe, where I can put them out for display...and comfort.
Dad is shipping me a computer chassis. I guess he felt bad that my computer sort of "broke down" during the move. I'm not sure where he got it, but what a sweet thing to do. One of my other friends sent me a video card. Wow, I am beginning to feel like the next Dr. Compufrankenstein. *grin*
Hopefully, I'll have a real box to tool around on. I still want to get a box together to put Linux on.
Definitely tomorrow is time to go shoe shopping. Having your feet cramp up on you after standing in them for six to 8 hours is ridiculous. Curse these dang bunyons.
There's nothing like a nice rainfall when you're trying to move. I use the word "nice" loosely, of course. I'm trying hard to get all the things gathered up, cleaned, loaded and hauled to the new apartment. My wonderful brother-in-law is still in town trying to help out. He decided to go through the contents of my van for me while I hunted down the manager of the store where I work. The store manager will need to initiate the paperwork to transfer me to the store close to my new apartment. I'm sure that won't be a problem, but I just won't be relaxing until I follow that through. I don't want to commute along Interstate 45 and Interstate 10 during rush hours. What a nightmare that would be.
I still have a lot to do. Of course, in the middle of all of it, I discover my computer is really acting up now, but I just don't have the time to really diagnose and fix things. I picked up the pictures from Date 5, and I had planned to email them to folks who needed/wanted them, but I couldn't read the CD at all. *sigh*
I'm hoping a good night's sleep makes things look better. I'm tired and cranky right now, and I hate being cranky. I'd rather be smiling. I'll be smiling after this move is all over with.
At least I heard that the infamous date should be airing soon. Monday is what I'm hearing. I just can't wait.